Service of Unsolicited Promotional Items: Use or Toss?

June 17th, 2021

Categories: Guilt, Promotions

I love–and use–the return address labels and notepads that charities send soliciting funds. Mostly I don’t donate.

In the last two weeks I received a few surprises. The Central Park Conservancy mailed five note cards [photo right] and envelopes. The New York Public Library doesn’t need to send me anything because I already donate out of gratitude for the tremendous e-book collection it shares with me. Nevertheless I recently received a notepad [photo above] and return address labels. They look great–I like the graphics.

The pen [photo below] came from a company that hopes I’ll order more. Because it’s a business I don’t mind putting it to use with no plans to purchase.

Do you keep–or toss–freebies from charities if you don’t donate? What are your favorite promotional items? Do you always send money when you receive an unsolicited gift?

Service of Traveling Companions: Spoiled Trips or Saved Voyages

June 14th, 2021

Categories: Friends, Guidelines, Negotiation, Travel, Travel Warning, Traveling Companion

Many think traveling with someone will ensure a great trip. Obviously you should know the person you’re planning to travel with–or think about what kind of companion they would be abroad or far from home 24/7, for a period of time.

These true stories show that even the smartest and well-meaning of us can be tripped up. Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Drastically Uneven Budgets Ensure Disappointment

We’ll call the first twosome–dear childhood friends–Mary and Agnes. They lived thousands of miles apart and thought a trip, just the two of them, would be just the ticket.

Mary was on a modest budget and Agnes, it turned out, had barely a cent to spend. Before the trip Mary didn’t realize Agnes’s financial constraints were so dire. On their return Mary confided that she was disappointed at not being able to visit a single restaurant as Agnes wouldn’t let her pay yet she couldn’t afford such a meal.

Look a Gift Horse in the Mouth

Then there was Tricia and Polly–also made up names. Tricia said her trip was one of the worst experiences of her life.

Polly invited Tricia to Europe. Tricia grabbed the chance of a free trip.

She’d get up early to fit in as much sightseeing in a day as possible and Polly slept late and didn’t want Tricia to leave their hotel room without her. For dietary reasons Tricia needed to eat three meals a day. Polly would eat a candy bar at 11:00 a.m. and say she wasn’t hungry for lunch and wouldn’t stop for Tricia to grab something.

Tricia told Polly that an office friend had asked her to bring back a few bars of chocolate naming an ordinary brand not yet available in the States. Polly had never heard of it. Tricia would duck into store after store and come out empty handed because they didn’t have the milk with nuts favorite.

Their relationship was so frayed by the time they arrived at a picturesque village that they finally agreed to explore it separately. Tricia found a newspaper store and asked about the elusive chocolate bar. “A woman just left with the last five,” said the shop owner.  Guess who showed up with a little bag and the chocolate? And she wouldn’t give even one to Tricia for the office friend.

This Gift Horse Who’d Had It

Another pair–let’s say Gail and Francesca–were cousins. Gail invited Francesca on a Viking River Cruise. [I love their tempting commercials on PBS.] The women hadn’t seen each other in years. Turns out Francesca had gained so much weight she could hardly walk and wasn’t up to taking side trips or moving much at all, putting a damper on the experience for Gail.

She changed partners for her next Viking Cruise. This time her friend/guest Marilyn made troublesome disappearing acts. In one port she took off in mid land tour. Gail waited for her at one stop and missed most of the side trip. In addition to that frustration she feared something had happened to Marilyn. As great as the cruise was otherwise, Marilyn’s childish games spoiled Gail’s time.

My Guidelines for Traveling with a Friend

With the exception of business trips, my travels have been mostly with a parent, significant other or spouse. A trip alone eons ago to an intimate island resort turned out to be one of my best vacations–but I digress.

Before the first trip with anyone, even the love of your life, an adult would be well served to explore their traveling companion’s expectations and to spell out theirs so as to agree on a few guidelines before taking a step.

Given the experiences noted above, my druthers would be:

  • We each get up when we want [unless we are catching a flight or train].  No resentment if one wants to veg out in the room and the other is raring to explore.
  • In cities, if we want to visit different things, we can meet back in the room at a predetermined time.
  • Especially if a shared bedroom is small, keep it neat as possible.
  • Address budgets–level of restaurant expense and timing of meals. Figure out how to make it work–or at least know about it beforehand–when one eats no breakfast and the other, no dinner.
  • ID each person’s “must see” attractions before departure and make sure each departs the vacation happy.
  • No problem if one or the other doesn’t care to go on a tour.

Have you had–or heard of–a ruined vacation because of a mismatched travel partner? Would you discuss guidelines/druthers before a first trip? Are there rules-of-the-road you insist on? Have you been happily surprised by the experience of traveling with a pal? Would you rather travel alone?

Service of Thanking Before Dining is Over

June 10th, 2021

Categories: E-Commerce, Restaurant, Technology, Tips

Last weekend I sat outdoors at a restaurant in the Village. The only way to get food was by downloading the menu, signing in to their website, ordering online and paying by credit card. No smartphone, no luck.

As with any restaurant credit card purchase there was the TIPS line which I filled in. I know, I know, I should have left a cash tip. But I didn’t. Next time.

I wasn’t thinking clearly. My mind was spinning from the unusual–for me–ordering process. After I clicked our choices, my first attempt didn’t go through; it took me forever to find ice tea–only coffee choices were evident. Intensifying by the second were my feelings of being a super all thumbs Luddite klutz which slowed me even further.

So I wrote in a generous tip–the percentage I would calculate at a standard restaurant. In retrospect all the wait staff did was to deliver the order and clear the plates. Turned out that they were forgetful in delivering our standard requests. We were sharing a giant luncheon salad and asked for a second plate. We had to ask two waitresses a few times. With temperature in the 90s, the water in a bottle left on the table, soaking up the sun as were we, warmed quickly. We asked for ice–several times too.

I’ll be better prepared the next time, with reading glasses at the ready, immediately locating the SEARCH icon [which is how I found iced tea as it wasn’t one of the upfront choices]. And I’ll have cash–which I don’t carry in significant amounts–on hand.

I suspect the do-it-yourself ordering process is in our futures at less expensive watering holes especially if the staffing shortage persists. It’s not a new concept. I have belonged to clubs at which the member wrote the food and drink order in the casual venues. It seemed easier.

Have you been tripped up by technology? Do you feel foolish when it happens? Have you, too, encountered such an ordering process at a restaurant? Is this a welcome trend?

Image by LUM3N from Pixabay


Service of When You Weren’t Looking

June 7th, 2021

Categories: Change, Pandemic, Taxi

New plaza where Vanderbilt Avenue used to be.

If you plan to revisit the Big Apple for the first time since last year you may notice that your favorite watering holes or gift stores are gone. But you’ll see lots that’s new such as a range of creative to clumsy semi-permanent street and sidewalk restaurants and florist satellites. All through the pandemic florists started selling coffee and snacks eaten at  tables and chairs in front.

Last week I was surprised by a plaza where a street used to be on Vanderbilt Avenue off 42nd outside Grand Central Terminal [photos above and below]. Cars lose with this transformation: They can no longer turn right, uptown, on Vanderbilt. But it looks nice.

Speaking of change, there’s a distinct lack of bright yellow accents on the city landscape–hardly any cabs anymore. I’ve noticed it on my walks as well as from my apartment windows where I see several blocks south on First Avenue. Turns out my observations are accurate. In “Where Did All The Yellow Cabs Go?” on Jack Denton wrote “Two-thirds of our yellow street-hail cabs are gone.”

He reported “Before the pandemic, some 10,500 yellow cabs — about 80 percent of the total number of taxi medallions issued by the city — were in the streets each day. During the peak of lockdown, in April 2020, that number was 982.”  The number continues to be around 3,500 as it has been since last summer.

Denton quoted Steve Gounaris who owns a fleet of 180 who said: “‘How are you going to make a car payment, medallion payment, insurance, workers’ comp, labor — when you’re putting them out there for less than what it costs you?'” To avoid considerable fees for maintaining a license, “$9,600 in car insurance, $2,500 workman’s compensation insurance, $400 commercial motor-vehicle tax,” fleet owners “Put their medallions ‘in storage'” by giving them back to the Taxi & Limousine Commission.

When you’ve returned to a town or city you’ve been forced to ignore for a year, or in reconnoitering your neighborhood, what changes–good and bad–have taken place?

Plaza outside Grand Central Terminal.


Service of Social Media’s Power

June 3rd, 2021

Categories: Fashion, Social Media


Fantasy Explosion booth in Bryant Park

On Memorial Day I visited Urbanspace Market at Bryant Park with its art, collectibles, jewelry, clothing and food from NYC businesses. Bank of America sponsored the “Small Business Spotlight,” allowing minority-owned businesses with revenues of $1 million or less to display wares in rent-free booths. The event remains until June 20.

There was a long line of mostly 20-somethings outside only one booth: Fantasy Explosion. Most of the others were empty. I asked “why the line?” of an attractive young couple near the back of a line that was moving at the speed of a bike with two flat tires. Their answer: “Instagram.” The patience of all these hipsters was ironic because instant is more than most are willing to wait for much given the speed they are used to from their smart devices and food deliveries.

“I never had much hope of finding such a totem until last year,” wrote Jon Caramanica in The New York Times, “when I stumbled upon the Fantasy Explosion Instagram account, which was posting decades-old T-shirts from niche corners of the city — the type of shirts that are given away to people who complete a 5K, or to sanitation workers in the boroughs outside Manhattan, or which you can buy near tourist sites from street vendors.” This was his intro to “Shirts for Lifelong New Yorkers and Those Who Would Like to Pass for One,” with subhead: “Shops like Fantasy Explosion specialize in vernacular vintage, merchandise that conveys cachet and knowledge of the city.”

Caramanica reported that the 30 year old owner Kevin Fallon, originally from Rhode Island, has been in New York for six years. He wrote that the popular vintage shirts are available at an increasing number of stores and that manufacturers and high fashion designers have jumped on the trend. “These high-fashion versions of vernacular forms suggest that there is no obstacle to making the vernacular aesthetic a luxury proposition. But in a climate in which, say, vintage music shirts can command several hundred dollars, local vintage generally offers a more reasonable entry point; almost everything at Fantasy Explosion is under $50.” Note: Prices may have changed since 2019 when the article appeared.

“Wearing these garments is unusually revealing, as if you’re wearing a shirt with your own face on it. It starts conversations, and it’s a kind of recommendation engine,” he wrote.

I still have favorite T-shirts from Jefferson Vineyards in Monticello, Va., New Yorker Magazine, trips abroad and from years of Bard Music Festivals with signatures of featured composers. For space reasons I’ve have had to give too many away. And you?  Have you been inspired to attend an event or visit an exhibitor at a show because you read about it on social media?

Service of Peeking Out of the Pandemic

June 1st, 2021

Categories: Anxiety, Friends, Pandemic, Rail Travel, Restaurant, Transportation, Travel

Image by bridgesward from Pixabay

Last week represented a few firsts for me since early 2020: I took a short ride on Metro North to have lunch with my sister and a few days later I went to a bustling landmark Manhattan restaurant filled to the gills.

As I exited the train in a Northern NY suburb the air was clean–different from the cocoon  Manhattan had become. There were no homeless people sharing the sidewalk by the railroad. In fact, there were few people around as most in this commuter town were probably at work either at home or in the city.

Image by analogicus from Pixabay

A few days later staff took guests’ temperature at the Manhattan brasserie. The room temp was warm and merry. Exhilaration of wait staff and guests practically levitated indoor and outdoor tables. I felt the same wonder I’ve felt as a tourist in a wonderful foreign city, but I was in my hometown.

Alan Burdick wrote that while exciting it felt “slightly nerve-wracking” as “social life has begun to bend toward a semblance of normalcy: dinner parties, restaurants, spontaneous encounters with strangers, friends and colleagues on the street or in the office.” I didn’t find it “nerve-wracking.” Joyous and grateful was a closer description.

And I didn’t experience “a period of heightened anxiety as we meet people face-to-face,” as Adam Mastroianni predicted people would in a phone conversation with Burdick reported in the latter’s New York Times article “So You Want to End the Conversation?” Mastroianni is at Harvard working towards a Ph.D. in psychology. For one thing, we each knew the others had been vaccinated so there was no worry there. And we were so glad to see one another.

I admit I’m not in a rush to attend a gathering with many people and I did have concerns about the safety of public transportation I needed to reach my destinations.

Were you apprehensive about first in-person gatherings or experiences after an overlong intermission?

Image by Wokandapix from Pixabay

Service of Incentives

May 27th, 2021

Categories: Drawing, Incentive, Pandemic

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

If you’ve been asked to donate to a political cause, support a public radio or TV station, buy a magazine subscription or a tool from a merchandiser at a hardware store chances are you’ve noticed incentives to entice you. Last weekend during a WNYC radio fundraising drive listeners had a few hours to donate to be entered to win a $200 gift certificate at Russ & Daughters, known for smoked fish, caviar, baked goods, and specialty foods. A few days later we learned that anyone who participated in the fund drive, including the station’s sustaining members, would be entered to win a $2,000 AMEX travel voucher.

Currently competition in the incentives game is hot and heavy to persuade people to get vaccinated against Covid-19:

  • Damian McNamara on “For some residents of Ohio, the prospect of winning $1 million is enough of an incentive to roll up their sleeves and get vaccinated against COVID-19. In fact, since Gov. Mike DeWine announced the five weekly drawings of $1 million each, the number of people signing up has increased….”‘Friday saw more vaccines than any day in the last 3 weeks. We have seen increases in teenagers getting vaccinated as well as adults 30 to 74,’ DeWine press secretary Dan Tierney, said in an interview.”
  • Starting today kids 12 to 17 in NY State who get vaccinated can enter their names to be one of 10 to win a full scholarship to SUNY or CUNY which includes tuition, room and board.
  • Dan Casarella wrote on “Certain companies have offered a one-time cash payment to any employee who receives the full manufacturer-recommended doses of a COVID-19 vaccine. These companies include Instacart, Kroger and Houston Methodist. The incentives tend to range from $50 to $500, with most being in the $100 range. Offering a cash payment as a vaccine incentive is beneficial to your employees’ health and wallets.”
  • Philip Galanes in his Social Q’s column in The New York Times addressed a question from a reader who objected to being asked by his employer to send in a picture of his vaccination passport for a free gift card from an online retailer.
  • In Phoenix, Mike Pelton wrote on that “in Sun City West, Southwest Golf Cars, a company that sells golf carts, recently told their staff that they could receive a raise — $1 more an hour — to get the vaccine.” Pelton reported that City of Phoenix employees “are eligible to receive a $75 reward.”
  • Image by Monika Häfliger from Pixabay

    New York City is offering free tickets to 13 venues, some of which are Lincoln Center, Bronx Zoo, NY Knicks Games and Top of the Rock. In addition, there are $15 gift cards to Chelsea Market and $25 to NYC public markets as well as 20 percent off at a NYC City Store. There are free memberships and passes as well such as two weeks to Citibike and NYC Crunch Gyms and an annual membership to Public Theater. On the list are free fries with the purchase of any burger or sandwich at Shake Shack.

  • In a New York Times article Lynn Vavreck cited a UCLA/Harvard study–The UCLA project that is ongoing–which interviewed 75,000 over 10 months and concluded that “A cash reward works best with Democrats, and relaxing safety guidelines seems to motivate Republicans.” By the latter she referred to removing masks and social distancing strictures. One group was divided in three, offered either $25, $50 or $100. “Roughly a third  of the unvaccinated population said a cash payment would make them more likely  to get a shot. The benefits were largest for those in the group getting $100, which increased willingness (34 percent said they would get vaccinated) by six points  over the $25 group.” And “The effect was greatest for unvaccinated Democrats,  48 percent of whom said they would be more likely to get vaccinated if it came  with a $100 payment.” The incentive to stop wearing a mask and social-distancing in public also had a strong result. On average, relaxing the mask and social distancing guidelines increased vaccine uptake likelihood by 13 points. The largest gains came from Republicans, who reported an 18-point increase in willingness to get vaccinated.”

Has an incentive enticed you to do, support or buy something you weren’t planning to or hadn’t even thought of? Do you have a minimum value in mind?

Bronx Zoo. Image by reneecporter from Pixabay


Service of When a Company Listens to its Employees–or Not

May 24th, 2021

Categories: Books, Employees, Management

Image by Couleur from Pixabay

I knew a successful stockbroker who traveled the country at a time in which we manufactured a lot. He’d visit a corporation to speak with the employees on the line. He wasn’t interested in the boilerplate management wanted to share.

Today, employees voice their opinions of management’s decisions–some say even more than before.

Jeffrey A. Trachtenberg and Emily Glazer described a recent to and fro in their Wall Street Journal article “Inside the Simon & Schuster Blowup Over Its Mike Pence Book Deal.”

The article’s subhead reads: “Petition demanded publisher drop potential blockbuster, saying it betrayed company’s promise to oppose bigotry, while CEO defended commitment to broad range of views ” They reported that 14 percent of the staff–200–signed a petition. “While the majority of employees didn’t sign the petition,” wrote Trachtenberg and Glazer, “it continues drawing external support and now has more than 5,000 external signatories.”

They wrote: “The Pence conflict stands out because the demand struck at the heart of the publisher’s business. Book companies, which have long prized their willingness to publish a wide range of voices, in contrast to the silos of cable news, say they need blockbuster books of all stripes to carry the rest of their titles.”

In addition, they reported that Jonathan Karp, president and CEO, “said one reason Simon & Schuster is comfortable publishing Mr. Pence is that the former vice president refused to take an action to overturn the election.” He told staffers in an online gathering “there wouldn’t be any discriminatory content in Mr. Pence’s book.”

“In January,” wrote the reporters, “the company canceled the publication of a book by Sen. Hawley, citing his role in challenging the presidential election results on Jan. 6, when rioters stormed the U.S. Capitol.” Quoting Karp this was because “his actions ‘led to a dangerous threat to our democracy.’ He said the senator’s role in that day’s events ‘brought widespread disapproval and outrage to him and would have redounded to us.’”

Image by Natalia Ovcharenko from Pixabay

The reporters shared other examples referring to a pause in political contributions by Microsoft through 2022 to legislators who opposed certification of the electoral college, a move resulting from an employee’s appeal.

They mentioned that “Similar pressures [to address employee demands] have ricocheted across the business world,” mentioning  Apple, Delta Air Lines and Google. They didn’t specify the dynamics but in a Google search I found that:

  • Apple bowed to employee pressure to rescind its job offer to the author of a memoir in which he wrote disparaging things about women.
  • According to Shirin Ghaffary in, Google agreed to “scrap forced arbitration in individual cases of sexual harassment or assault after 20,000 Google workers staged a walkout demanding changes to how it treats employees. The walkout was prompted by a New York Times article that revealed Google had given a senior executive, Andy Rubin, a $90 million exit package even after it found he had been credibly accused of sexual harassment…..Employees who prefer to arbitrate privately will still have that option.”
  • Delta replaced uniforms for 60,000 employees because some claimed the originals made them sick.
  • On the other hand, CEO Jamie Dimon suggested that any of his employees who pushed him to restrict doing business with the military could leave JPMorgan Chase, Trachtenberg and Glazer reported.

Should corporations act on what employees request? Have you changed an employer or corporation’s mind about a major decision or can you name other examples where this happened?

Image by Couleur from Pixabay

Service of Unmasking the Honor System: Do I Trust My Fellow Citizens?

May 20th, 2021

Categories: Honesty, Honor Code, Medical Care, Medicine, Pandemic, Trust

Image by Spencer Davis from Pixabay

The business of removing face masks indoors in public, permitted in most states if you’ve had both vaccines, got me to thinking about the honor system. Do I trust my fellow New Yorkers to cover up if they’ve chosen to pass? Can they be trusted to be true-blue and wear a mask until they change their minds? It’s small comfort to hear, “don’t worry about getting sick if you’ve had both vaccines–you won’t be hospitalized and you won’t die, most likely.”

In a New York Times opinion piece “Just How Dishonest are Most Students,” Wake Forest professor Christian B. Miller claimed that honor codes are “surprisingly effective” in curbing cheating. “But many schools and programs, from elementary to graduate level, take their honor codes seriously. And for good reason. Empirical research has repeatedly found that schools that are committed to honor codes have significantly reduced cheating rates compared with schools that are not.”

The operative words are “significantly reduced.” Is that enough where health is concerned?

Image by Juraj Varga from Pixabay

Professor Miller wrote: “Donald McCabe at Rutgers Business School and Linda Treviño at the Smeal College of Business at Penn State found a 23 percent rate of helping someone with answers on a test at colleges without an honor code, versus only 11 percent at schools with an honor code. They reported impressive differences as well for plagiarism (20 percent versus 10 percent), unauthorized crib notes (17 percent versus 11 percent) and unpermitted collaboration (49 percent versus 27 percent), among other forms of cheating.”

Cheating in Academic Institutions: A Decade of Research,” the study to which Professor Miller refers, begins “This article reviews 1 decade of research on cheating in academic institutions. This research demonstrates that cheating is prevalent and that some forms of cheating have increased dramatically in the last 30 years.” The article was published in January, 2010.

There is no honor code for society at large. The percentages of cheaters in the study above for 2000 to 2010–49, 23, 20 and 17–if anywhere near what happens with the public in general, give me goosebumps. This is a city with $215 million worth of fare-jumpers [in 2018] according to Jay Willis in an article in, not that sneaking in bus or subway for free means that you’ll take off your mask when you shouldn’t.

Do you think that vaccinations for any killer virus should be required for entrance in public venues? Vaccines are already required in some instances. According to the New York Department of Health, “Children attending day care and pre-K through 12thgrade in New York State must receive all required doses of vaccines on the recommended schedule in order to attend or remain in school. This is true unless they have a valid medical exemption to immunization. This includes all public, private, and religious schools.”

Do people brought up in schools with honor codes remain honorable or do they need honor code booster shots after graduation? Will you trust that the man or woman near you at a store, a wedding, in a theater or religious institution has been vaccinated because they aren’t wearing a mask? Do you plan on wearing one indoors at least until 70 percent of the population in your city or state are vaccinated?

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

Service of Salary Secrecy

May 17th, 2021

Categories: Hiring Manager, Human Resources, Job Hunt, Negotiation, Salaries, Secrets

Image by Ryan McGuire from Pixabay

Job seekers have shared their opinions with me about whether to insist on knowing the salary range before pursuing a position and in the first conversation revealing, to the prospective employer, the remuneration they expect. They fall into two schools of thought: Do and Don’t. The same thing applies to a PR agency before staff takes time to write a proposal. The risk of failure increases when the client doesn’t share how much the company is budgeted to spend.

One friend at the top of her game won’t work for less than $X and doesn’t want to waste her time on countless interviews for nothing so she says she won’t move forward on a job lead without salary information. She’s also fine with sharing her salary expectations with headhunters and hiring managers.

Alison Green wrote “When Employers Demand a Salary Range From Applicants but Refuse to Suggest One,” asking why “hiring managers play such coy games around salary.” In her article in she reported that employers sometimes wait until they make a formal offer or late in the process yet they require that candidates spill their figure right away. She commented, after being contacted by a close-lipped headhunter: “Why not just tell me what [the salary] is so we each know if we’d be wasting our time or not?”

In one example, she was told the interview process entailed, after HR screening, a call with the hiring manager, a full day of interviews in the office, potentially a second day, and maybe having to complete a project or test.

There’s no surprise why employers opt for secrecy–they want to pay as little as possible. Candidates fear if they mention an amount they won’t be paid what the employer is willing to pay. If the job is appealing enough an applicant might be willing to accept a lower salary but fears, by mentioning a higher one, they will knock themselves out of the running.

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

Green wrote: “Job seekers who just ask directly what range the position will pay risk running into interviewers who bristle at the idea that money might be a key factor in someone’s interest level.” That happened to her in the example above that potentially entailed two days of interviews. “The HR person got really cold and awkward and said she couldn’t tell me that information. … I received an email later that afternoon that said because I was so interested in salary and not the company or the job, they weren’t continuing with my candidacy.”

She found that some employers say they duck offering a compensation range because candidates will be disappointed if not offered the top salary.

She advises job seekers to do research about jobs in the targeted industry by speaking with recruiters, directors of professional organizations and colleagues. “Ultimately, as long as employers treat salary info like a closely guarded trade secret, candidates will be at a disadvantage.”

Have you been caught up by the salary question? Should employers be open about their salary range and prospective employees be relaxed about sharing their expectations? Aren’t employers who object to candidates asking what the pay will be naive to think that people work for fun, with no concern about covering expenses or what others in the industry pay? What about prospective clients who won’t tell an agency what their budget is–do you write a proposal anyway?

Image by Nattanan Kanchanaprat from Pixabay

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