Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Service of Networking: Is That All There Is?

Thursday, September 7th, 2017


 Adam Grant, a New York Times opinion writer, author and Wharton School professor doesn’t think networking is all that it’s cracked up to be. Think of the numerous networking events–or how to network workshops–you may have forced yourself to attend. A cornerstone offering of industry associations to which I belong, his article “Networking is Overrated” caught my eye.


Grant wrote that when he read research about how people in one study felt about networking—dirty—it made him want to take a shower. Clearly he would rather not network at cocktail parties. This could very well be one of the reasons LinkedIn is so popular. It’s painless networking while you sleep.

I selected a few paragraphs that support his position. Grant wrote: 


“Not long ago, I watched a colleague try to climb the ladder of success solely through networking. For a few years, he managed to meet increasingly influential people and introduce them to one another. Eventually it fell apart when they realized he didn’t have a meaningful connection with any of them. Networking alone leads to empty transactions, not rich relationships.”

So what to do in place of networking? Become skilled at something Grant suggests.


“Of course, accomplishments can build your network only if other people are aware of them. You have to put your work out there. It shouldn’t be about promoting yourself, but about promoting your ideas. Evidence shows that tooting your own horn doesn’t help you get a job offer or a board seat, and when employees bend over backward to highlight their skills and accomplishments, they actually get paid less and promoted less. People find self-promotion so distasteful that they like you more when you’re praised by someone else–even if they know you’ve hired an agent to promote you.” [What a perfect example of the importance of third party endorsement, a cornerstone of the value of PR!]

Grant sagely pointed out that the “right people” will help you depending on what you have to offer. “Building a powerful network doesn’t require you to be an expert at networking. It just requires you to be an expert at something.”

“The best networking happens when people gather for a purpose other than networking, to learn from one another or help one another.” [That’s my kind of networking.]

Do you like to network? Do you agree with Adam Grant? Have you made worthwhile connections doing so? Were you surprised by Grant’s conclusion that tooting your own horn has a negative impact on job searches and promotions?



Service of Summer Reading

Thursday, June 22nd, 2017


When you were a kid, did you leave school for summer vacation with a reading list? I did. Some of the books ended up in my camp trunk nevertheless there usually was a scramble to finish what was due just before school started.

I thought of those days when I saw Ellen Gamerman’s Wall Street Journal article, “If You Could Read Only One.” In it she asked influential “literary professionals” to identify their choice of fiction published this spring or due out this summer. The pundits chose a psychological thriller; two science fiction/fantasy novels, one set in South Africa, the other in the world after civilization has collapsed; a police detective story set in Israel; an essay collection written by a blogger; a fictional 1950s Hollywood starlet’s biography and a literary fantasy taking place in NYC.


Of the seven in the article, the one that struck my fancy was “A Separation” by Katie Kitamura [Riverhead Books, February 2017]. Gamerman wrote that Lynn Lobash, who reads a book a week, thought this would be one of the year’s 10 best. The manager of reader services at the New York Public Library called the book a “character-driven psychological thriller.” Much of it takes place in southern Greece. Lobash, who is also on the American Library Association’s notable books committee, told Gamerman, “It’s relatable in that way that everybody loves to read a good psychological book—because it’s really about them.” [Check out the other titles and mini reviews by clicking on the link.]

Photo: pinterest

Some of my friends rarely read fiction so for this post, I’m expanding the reach to nonfiction and also, so that I can suggest a book. It’s “Prince Charles: the passions and paradoxes of an improbable life,” by Sally Bedell Smith, [Penguin Random House, April 2017]. I’d previously read “Reflected Glory: the life of Pamela Churchill Harriman,” so I knew I’d be in for a treat.

Bedell Smith writes well–you resent putting down her books–and they are filled with chunks of information that paint vivid pictures. Turns out that Princess Di wasn’t the angel the media made her out to be; Prince Charles was a warm and playful father that media chose to ignore and that pop—Prince Phillip—insisted on school choices that were inappropriate for Charles’ temperament. I also learned that Charles can’t tolerate anyone who disagrees with him. Once that happens, the person is cut out of his life.

Can you share a title or two that we should consider reading? It doesn’t matter if the book—fiction or nonfiction–is new. Do you read different kinds of books in summer or while on vacation than at other times of year?


Service of Birthdays and the 2016 Ohio Primary

Monday, March 14th, 2016

birthday cake 18

The Ohio judge’s ruling last week–that teens who turn 18 before the November 2016 presidential election can vote in the March 15 primary–struck a cord because the date of my birth mattered when I was a teen.

I arrived at summer camp to discover I’d been placed in a summer campcabin with kids a year below me in school. Why? My birthday fell a few days after the camp’s arbitrary August 31 deadline for 15/16 year olds. Being with one’s peers is crucial at that age but there was a far more critical situation at play. The kids who were 16 before the cutoff were considered for junior counselor, a much promoted honor. [Some honor: Parents paid the hefty camp fee minus a few dollars and their kids worked like dogs.] I was out of the running and I was crushed. I later learned that my parents put up a fight but a rule was a rule and life’s not fair. I soon adjusted to my cabin mates and had a good time but that was the last year I attended this or any other summer camp.

judges rulingAccording to Ann Sanner in “17-Year-Olds Can Vote in Ohio’s Presidential Primary Tuesday,” her Associated Press article, “The judge’s decision reversed instructions from the swing state’s election chief just days before Tuesday’s primary and amid early voting. Republican Secretary of State Jon Husted initially vowed to appeal the ruling, then opted not to fight it after a state appeals court set a hearing for Monday.”

We read that many kids are no longer chomping at the bit, as in years of yore, to get their driver’s licenses, but some still do. Should the age states permit kids testing for their license slide around according to circumstances—say a family is moving abroad for a parent’s three year assignment–or should the age restriction stay firm? What about drinking laws if grandpa is springing for a giant party for his grandchild’s 21st and the catering hall is only free a week before?

Back to Ohio: If you must be 18 to vote in a primary, should that rule stick? Has the date of your birth impacted your immediate future? Are there other examples where rules have been bent or reinterpreted–or should have been?

primary election

Service of Working at a Snail’s Pace

Thursday, March 3rd, 2016


As I read John Barbanel’s Wall Street Journal article, “Landmark Label for 65 Properties rejected by City,” I kept thinking, “Why has it taken so long for a commission to come to no decision about 95 NYC properties?” Some of the properties in The New York City Landmarks Preservation Commission backlog date back to its launch 50 years ago, according to Matt A.V. Chaban in The New York Times.

The Commission was created by Mayor Robert F. Wagner in 1965, a year after Pennsylvania Station was destroyed, I read in Wikipedia. Its chairwoman Meenakshi Srinivasan—who has been working on the current review since November 2014–wanted to toss out all 95 in the backlog to start with a clean slate. It is still considering 30 on this list.

To be cavalier about destroying the chances of 95 potential landmarks, some of which enrich the look of the city, I can only guess that Srinivasan has never been to downtown Des Moines. I haven’t been in years, but a striking memory was the measly one square block of handsome period buildings with enchanting architectural elements which housed thriving businesses that had remodeled the interiors beautifully. There must have been more such buildings though when I was there I passed countless empty lots. I have nothing against modern buildings but I love the old ones too. They make walks in London and Paris [photo below left] and countless other towns and cities memorable.

Bergdorf GoodmanEvan Bindelglass in reported that in 2015, the Commission designated six landmarks and four historic districts. By dragging its feet the Commission leaves in the lurch owners who may want to erase a building from the city’s skyline altogether. With a landmark designation, they couldn’t anyway.

Saved for the moment are the Pepsi-Cola sign that’s been on the Long Island City waterfront since about 1936 and the Fifth Avenue Bergdorf Goodman building [photo right]. They’d been considering the latter since 1970! Also slated for landmark designation are a YMCA in Harlem, Loew’s Theater on west 175th Street and St. Michael’s Episcopal Church, Parish House and rectory on West 99th Street [photo below, center].

Some of the losers, not to be considered, are the home of President Chester A. Arthur and Union Square, both in Manhattan, and the Cunard Mansion on Staten Island. Some others excised from consideration: a whole bunch of 42nd Street theatres such as Empire, Liberty, Lyric, Times Square and New Apollo, and the original James McCreery & Co. store.Barbanel noted that “The City Council can reject or modify a landmark designation, and often defers to local council members. But some commissioners were troubled by the deference.” There are 11 of them. And in theory, he wrote, any of the 65 currently on the cutting room floor could be reconsidered.

walk in ParisWikipedia set my mind at rest that the Commission hasn’t always been asleep. Between 1965 and 1990 it “designated 856 buildings, 79 interiors and 9 parks or other outdoor places as landmarks while declaring 52 neighborhoods with more than 15,000 buildings as historic districts.”  Wikipedia continued “As of April 16, 2014, there are more than 31,000 landmark properties in New York City…. The total number of protected sites includes 1,332 individual landmarks, 115 interior landmarks and 10 scenic landmarks.”

What are some of your favorite buildings or interiors either in NYC or elsewhere that you are grateful are preserved? What is it about some of the 95 properties that have caused the Commission to drag its feet?

St. Michael's Episcopal Church

Service of Work and Calendars

Monday, February 29th, 2016


Calendar with holidaysIf people would just consult a calendar before arranging for any event they’d save a lot of time and angst. But the New York City school system person in charge of scheduling parent teacher meetings didn’t bother and chose March 17. He/she must be fresh from elsewhere as most New Yorkers know that’s St. Patrick’s Day [or maybe this was the only day her boss was free].

One teacher, according to Noel Baker with the, “lodged the legal challenge with the New York City Human Rights Commission after he claimed the timing of the meeting would mean he would miss the city’s parade.” According to Baker the teacher, Frank J Schorn, is also vice-president of the Emerald Isle Immigration Centre where his lawyer is chair.

St. Patrick's DayWrote Baker, the lawyer said “The scheduling of the conferences on the most sacred day for Irish Americans not only interferes with the religious observance of the many Irish-American school teachers and administrators employed by the Department of Education, it similarly interferes with the rights of the parents of children enrolled in the New York City school system and that they also must make a choice between discussing their child’s scholastic progress or observing a religious feast day.” notes that Schorn’s lawyers “have requested an injunction preventing the conference and future conferences from going ahead on St Patrick’s Day” and quotes  Schorn as saying “The insensitive scheduling of parent-teacher meetings on March 17th has put me in an untenable position of choosing between my ethnic and religious heritage and my duty to help my students. I foresee being prevented from attending any Irish cultural events on March 17th.”

Isn’t Easter the most sacred day for Catholics Irish American or otherwise? Is a parade and meeting to celebrate with friends and family religious? Should a teacher take off from work to watch a parade? Haven’t most working grownups had to miss holiday events due to work schedules or deadlines? Do you think that the New York City school system should cave and change the date for parent/teacher meetings?


Service of Trends

Monday, January 11th, 2016

Trends 1

Manufacturers and inventors keep an eye out for trends to determine what they’ll introduce, in what colors and materials, to address which needs, real or fabricated.

In The Wall Street Journal, Geoffrey A. Fowler and Joanna Stern shared highlights of the latest gadgets at the annual Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas. In “The Wondrous and Wacky Year Ahead in Gadgets,” they chose to call out a laptop slimmer than a MacBook; a smartwatch focused on fitness; the Digitsole Smartshoe, a “highly connected sneaker”; a pod-based mixed drink maker [you’ve seen/used similar systems that make coffee]; a smart bed that “responds to your fitness tracker;” an alarm clock that awakes you with scents such as croissant or the sea and “Lego robots that teach science and coding.”

Trends 2It’s fun to conjecture what trends the creators tapped to determine the need for/timing of their gadget intros. For example:

  • Do they think we’ll have cause to drink as many cocktails as cups of coffee this year?
  • Fitness is on the tips of tongues of millions but how many exercycles and yoga mats can a health-driven person own? Enter some of these year’s intros: Will we become more vigorous and healthy as we compete with our records tracked by the latest gauges or will these gadgets soon pack landfills like exercise systems of yore?
  • Will our laptop choices reflect our fitness goals so we’ll toss out our “fat” ones in favor of a skinnier version?

Trends 3In another world dependent on trends, David A. Keeps, also in the Journal, interviewed five interior designers recently for their opinions of what was in and out of style. IN are: Black metals, rounded furniture, ornamentation such as tassels, Mexican midcentury modern and Scandinavian flat weave flooring. OUT are: Sisal and jute floor covering, “oppressive midcentury modern” and industrial looks, facets [on armoires or objets d’art] and rosy metallics.

Do you think that people toss their rugs and furniture if they learn that pundits consider them “Out”? How often would you change your upholstery, floor covering and window coverings if the expense was immaterial?

Do trends influence any of your purchases for yourself or others whether in technology, food or fashion?


Trends 4

Service of Reading the Small Print III

Thursday, December 17th, 2015

Redeem now

I love receiving gift cards. If you’re in the market to buy some this season, take heed. I had a run-in with two issued by a company with an otherwise stellar reputation: American Express. If you give or receive this kind of card, my experience should be helpful.

First, if you use the card to pay for certain types of services, your bill will be subject to a 20 percent surcharge to cover the tip. It will automatically be added to the total whether or not this is the amount you had in mind or whether you prefer giving tips in cash.

small printThe small print that comes with the card is fuzzier about this than the person who called me from AmEx was. She called because I was enraged enough at what happened to us when I tried to use the card in a restaurant that I wrote two men: the corporation’s executive VP corporate affairs and communications and the president of consumer products and services—but I’m jumping ahead.

gift card 3According to the enclosure that came with the cards in teensy, tiny print [the capital letters are theirs], “Restaurants, hair salons and some other types of Merchants may obtain an authorization on the Card for an amount of up to 20% more than the total service bill to cover any gratuity that may be added.” The person the suits asked to call me said I would be charged 20 percent as did the customer service person I spoke with from the restaurant where I tried, unsuccessfully, to use the card.

So what happened? It was embarrassing. I was treating my husband to dinner and presented my gift cards. After a long time, the waiter returned to the table to say the cards didn’t work so he couldn’t redeem the money. Before we met there, I’d called AmEx to confirm that I didn’t need authorization to use the cards, that in fact there was money in each [I’d been given an empty card once before!] and checked that the restaurant accepted the cards: All clear.

paying with gift cardAfter a frustrating amount of time on the phone to an AmEx customer service person who hardly spoke English and who took eight to 10 minutes to figure out what 20 percent of our total bill would be–I hung up and my husband paid for dinner with his credit card.

The executive office staffer who called to calm me after her bosses got my letter said someone from AmEx would contact the restaurant to train staff to redeem such cards. I didn’t ask why redeeming money from a gift card is so difficult that it required training.

I was reluctant to use the cards but $70 is $70 and why should American Express keep the money? So after a few months I gave the gift card another try selecting a place that didn’t involve service charges. I checked with the customer service dept at the grocery store I visit weekly and was told to present the cards to the cashier. I did. Neither worked. So on the next business day I called the executive office staffer who confirmed that the cards were good and suggested I buy something for less than the value on the card. I’m game. She’s nice. We have a friendly relationship. We laugh. Her phone number is in my mobile. I promised to report if the card works or not.

What did I learn about this gift card? 1) It’s best not to purchase a service with it where tips are standard if you want the freedom to give what you think is right and 2) Make certain that your purchases come in under the amount of the gift card and expect to forfeit some of the money. Why the latter? What are the chances that you will owe precisely $50 and $20 for anything you buy?

Do you think that the money left on millions of gift cards is enough to make this complicated, convoluted situation worthwhile to a major corporation? Am I the only one to run into such snags? Have you confronted similar hurdles with gift cards or in attempts to redeem anything else? Have you given or received a gift that turned out to be more of a pain than a treat?

$50 gift card$20 gift card

Service of What’s in a Name

Monday, November 2nd, 2015

Hello my name is

You may have read that a state judge ruled that Paul Smith’s College in the Adirondacks could not change or alter its name to Joan Weill-Paul Smith’s College. The 1,000 student private college hoped to overturn a 1937 bequest by the son of Paul Smith which stipulated that the college would “be ever known” as Paul Smith’s College of Arts and Sciences. Mrs. Weill, the wife of financier Sanford Weill, was planning to pledge $20 million to secure the name change. She knew about the college because she’d owned a home nearby. 

Paul Smith's College of Arts and Sciences

Paul Smith’s College of Arts and Sciences

“While the college has argued that the stipulation ‘nearly fatally impedes the ability of Paul Smith’s to seek large gifts from a single donor in order to make the investments it needs to remain viable,’ Judge John T. Ellis of State Supreme Court in Franklin County ruled that Weill’s pledge did not give the college license to violate the provision in its founder’s will enshrining his father’s name on the college in perpetuity,” according to Philanthropy News Digest.

“Disputes over naming rights have become more common in recent years and include the transformation of Avery Fisher Hall in New York City into David Geffen Hall and the renaming of the Miami Art Museum as the Jorge M. Pérez Art Museum of Miami-Dade. ‘This decision is a big, big deal,’ said Doug White, an adviser to philanthropists and nonprofits who teaches at Columbia University. ‘It’ll help define what the court system thinks of the idea of changing the name of an organization like this.'” 



According to The Chronicle of Philanthropy, this year only nine of the top 100 gifts from Americans have been anonymous so Mrs. Weill is in good company. Anonymity, wrote Lorne Manly in “Privacy Matters” in The New York Times, is the choice of those who don’t want to be bothered by others looking for support, don’t like publicity or who believe, as did Maimonides, that such obscurity is a good thing–sixth in the eight levels of giving.

I wrote in an earlier post that promoting a high profile person who gives a large donation helps draw in additional money far better these days than a heart-wrenching story. For this reason, do you believe that the law should be changed to help a small institution like Paul Smith’s modify its name? If your college had a new name, would you care? Is holding to some 78 year old bequest ridiculous? If you were Mrs. Weill would you give the money even if the college can’t modify its name?

Changes coming

Service of More Isn’t Always Better

Thursday, August 27th, 2015

Millbrook neighbor's trees 018

More isn’t always better even when speaking of food or makeup, plantings or building height. We all have stories. I’m sure you’ve seen average looking citizens sport the Lady Gaga/Tammy Faye Bakker dramatic makeup look thinking they’re glamorous when just a touch would be better.



For me there was that memorable celebratory roast beef dinner upon college graduation with a two-inch slab of meat that overwhelmed the plate and smothered my appetite. I was skinny and ate enormous quantities of food in the day but even so…too much!

Here are some recent examples.

Tree Huggers

I had to get this topic off my chest so my husband no longer has to hear me whine and see me wince every time we drive by this neighbor’s house. I feel that they have exploited their property and I can’t figure out what they are trying to achieve with their smorgasbord of trees to which they seem to add more every few weeks. I’ve not before seen anything like it on private property either here or abroad.

They have planted such a hodgepodge that they have destroyed what was once an elegant property. My photos top and bottom don’t make my point for a reason: From my photo styling days, the camera likes “more.” Driving by makes a far more crowded impression. If they wanted to live in a forest, why not buy a house in a forest?

jacket with fringeI like to postulate their reasons for rogue planting. Maybe husband or wife is a dendrologist studying what thrives in upstate NY. [Dendrologists study woody plants.] Or maybe their son or daughter owns a garden center and they want to be supportive. Or they love their [unscrupulous, untalented] landscape architect who gets paid a fee based on the cost or number of plants/installations. Or maybe this is the latest fashion and hopefully, like fringe on the edges of women’s suit jackets launched by Chanel years ago [see photo at left], it will have a short life.

Sky High

One World Trade Center. Photo:

One World Trade Center. Photo:

I’ve mentioned before that once he experienced the first east coast blackout, my father said he’d never rent an office on a floor higher than he could comfortably reach by stairs. I thought of him when I read an article in, “How tall can NYC’s skyscrapers go? You won’t believe the answer: As towers surpass 1,400 feet, one structural engineer predicts 2,000-foot spires are around the corner—and maybe even half-mile-tall spires will follow suit.” [I was puzzled by the 1,400 foot reference as according to Google, One World Trade Center has far surpassed it at 1,776 feet.] We see three skyscrapers-in-progress from our apartment windows. There are days where dense clouds obliterate the top floors making me think, “There goes the view” and “I hope there are no disoriented pilots out today.” Our apartment building has 22 floors, two passenger elevators and one service elevator. My husband arrived home one day and none were working. It happens. Imagine if you lived on the 39th floor.

What’s your favorite “too much” story?

Millbrook neighbor's trees 019

Service of It Matters

Monday, July 13th, 2015

It matters




You can be the most sensitive person in the universe and still be innocently and inadvertently indifferent to something that’s significant to another person.

A friend teaches a reading class to six first graders. Each has a book and there’s one for her. When the class was over one day, the smallest child in the class asked if she could please carry the books back to the homeroom. My friend, who reminded me that children this age love to be helpful, said thanks but that it didn’t matter as another child was doing it. The diminutive child looked her in the eye and said, “It matters to me.” So my friend asked the other child if she’d share the “load.” The child handed three of the books to her classmate, keeping the rest for herself. The little one beamed all the way back to homeroom.

In a vastly different scenario, Jim Brownell said to me: “This is a dump but it doesn’t have to look like one.” I’d just admired the transformation of the Millbrook, N.Y. transfer station [photo below]. As you approach it now there are three flags–American, Army and Marine–posted in a generous bed of mulch they’d installed. Brownell and Joseph Magnarella, who is in the photo, are the transfer attendants responsible for the makeover. Brownell is a Marine [on NCIS I learned once a Marine, always a Marine]; Magnarella is former Army.

When I first noticed the makeover, only the American flag and two poles were in place. Brownell expected the other two flags shortly. I left work early July 3—the dump is only open three days a week—to grab a photo for this post and only two flags flew. I asked Brownell for permission to take a photo and explained the nature of my post. He suggested I wait for the missing Marine flag, especially in light of the title. “It matters,” he said. [He was on vacation the day I returned for the photo.]

Can you share examples of something insignificant that nevertheless mattered a lot to you or to someone else? How about employees who go above and beyond because where they work–and how it looks–matters to them?

Joseph Magnarella a transfer attendant at the Millbrook, NY transfer station he transformed with Jim Brownell.

Joseph Magnarella a transfer attendant at the Millbrook, NY transfer station he transformed with Jim Brownell.

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