Service of Jealousy
Friday, July 23rd, 2010
Jealousy serves to do at least one thing: Eliminate viable candidates to make it easier for decision makers to pick people.
I just heard of a high school senior with a 4.0 grade point average, good SAT scores, the appropriate participation in student government, athletics as well as impressive internships, who didn’t get into a single one of her first choices of college.
After looking into it for her, her guidance counselor broke protocol and shared with her that the teacher she’d asked to recommend her had written “________[Name] used her looks to get where she is.”
According to the person telling me about this–the competition, a fellow student–nothing could be further from the truth. The young woman is stunning. Can she help that she’s 5′8″, has a stupendous figure, incredible skin and hair and a beautiful face? Regardless, she works hard and earns her grades and awards. My conjecture: The teacher was jealous.
Another instance is job-related. A friend reported to an Air Force lieutenant colonel who, after flying through college in three years earning high honors, shot up through the ranks making each promotion faster than most. The man was smart and respected.
Suddenly, his career screeched to a stop. He almost had to leave the Air Force before retirement age because of a bad report that squelched his next promotion. [If you were passed over for promotion three times, you were forced out of the Air Force.] We all thought: The superior who gave him the negative review was jealous.
In no way do I resemble either of these people and yet I’ve experienced similar disappointments. In retrospect, I see what happened, although I was flummoxed at the time. I thought you were supposed to do outstanding work.
I don’t think that there is a thing you can do about it but move on.
The young woman did. She’s excelling at her safety college, gets top flight internships and has learned early that life isn’t fair and to keep on trucking. The lieutenant colonel squeaked into the bird colonel slot with cheers from all who knew and worked with him. He never acted bitter nor did he take out his plight on his squadron or family during the career-teetering years.
Do you feel that often the wrong people rise to the top? Do you think that jealousy is one of the reasons, if not directly, then because nobody is threatened by mediocrity and the less outspoken and safe politicians dodge all bullets? Have you observed or experienced a situation where a colleague, boss, client or instructor became a spoiler for someone else out of jealousy?
