Archive for the ‘Women’ Category

Service of Women Confronted by the Same Old Hurdles

Thursday, November 4th, 2021


Image by Ernesto Eslava from Pixabay

Working women of a certain age in senior positions have countless stories about meetings at which they were asked to serve or order refreshments, take notes or were talked over by a man who was praised for a great idea–the one the woman had just suggested but apparently nobody heard.

Sad to report that little has changed according to speakers and participants at an event I attended this week. Sponsored and produced by #DisruptAging from AARP and Tuenight, the topic was ageism and equity focusing on Gen-X women. Some attendees were younger than 41 to 56 and some older. I don’t know the demographic makeup of the viewers who were streaming the program on their devices. Note: All the tech people installing and running the streaming equipment were men.

Here’s a headline on the #DisruptAging website: “Don’t you hate it when people make assumptions based solely on someone’s age? It’s time we shed the negative stereotypes and unconscious age bias.” Anecdotally, I propose that ageism is worse for women than for men–especially women older than Gen-X. But enough about what I think–on with highlights of the program.

Margit Detweiler, a veteran on the topic and founder of Tuenight, welcomed attendees and introduced the speakers. The 40 over 40 website described her organization as “a cohesive, safe place for women ‘to hang out’ with their peers. It’s the ultimate book club meets Girls’ Night Out.” And about Detweiler, she “combats the idea that women over 40 are somehow meant to be put out to pasture rather than in the prime of their life. She’s truly walking the walk for the ‘over 40’ mission.”



Image by LUM3N from Pixabay

To ace the interviews for a job one of the speakers, Tracey Lynn Lloyd, used the formula for over confidence she’d observed resulted in the [irritating] successes by what she called the “mediocre white man.” She had the techniques down pat and snagged a prestigious marketing position which, in the end, she declined. As she didn’t tell the audience why, I asked her afterwards and she said she wasn’t qualified and that she wanted to be a writer, which she is. She admitted that her Dad was disappointed that she’d passed on such a lucrative salary, but she realized that money doesn’t mean that much to her. [I couldn’t help suggesting that most people are severely deficient in some part of every new job but admired her self-knowledge.]

Another speaker, Abby West, was urged by a friend in HR to ask for $20,000 more even though she was thrilled with the salary, bonus and stock options of a job she coveted. She did ask, after describing to us the reasons she was reluctant to, and with her friend’s guidance with wording, said that she was then offered “significantly more.”

Women continue to discount their worth. In a conversation during the break a manager said that the men who report to her consistently ask for raises–some twice a year–and that the women never do.

I was alarmed to hear Marcelle Karp, well on the road to 60, say she didn’t get a job, in spite of a stellar career that made her a match, because she didn’t have a college degree. She now has one and is working towards a Masters. And how old fashioned am I? I would weigh job history and success over a degree any day. Silly me: I know an organization that insists on Masters degrees for what I’d consider menial administrative positions.

Have you observed advancements for women in the workplace–no more coffee runs, note taking requests or discounting/ignoring their contributions at meetings? What about opportunities for those over 40 or 60–are women still at a bigger disadvantage than men? Is the most viable option to strike out on their own and give up hope of working for a large organization? In spite of the increased number of single mothers and women in the workplace, do companies still think of men as being the primary breadwinners which once was the excuse for paying them more? What do you suggest women do to change the paradigms about them?

Service of Sisterhood: Does it Exist?

Thursday, July 22nd, 2021

Image by Jacquelynne Kosmicki from Pixabay

Drives me nuts when women don’t treat women as well as they do men. Fortunately I don’t notice it that often in restaurants and stores. I last wrote about a particularly irritating instance in 2015 in “Service of Sales Promotions: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly.” In my example of “ugly” a young woman attended to a man when a woman was next in line.

I write today about one of my favorite places, Trader Joe’s Manhattan wine store. I’ve consistently been nicely treated there which may be why this occurrence annoyed–and disappointed–me.

Here’s what happened.

The scene: An employee is posted at the exit. His/her job is to take from customers the empty little red TJ marketing carts.

Last Saturday the middle aged woman at this post left it and raced, all smiles and hearty greeting, past several cash registers to the farthest cashier from the door to relieve a handsome white haired man of his store cart. He was also encumbered with a personal shopping cart. I was at the register nearest her and had the same two carts to juggle. She didn’t budge to take mine from me and she hissed, “thank you misssss,” when I handed it to her. [I haven’t been called miss for decades and haven’t heard anyone use the term either.]

After a dozen years at an all-girls school and at least the same number at a woman’s industry association I have no rose colored glasses where women treating women respectfully or helpfully is concerned: Some do; many don’t. In my experience the sisterhood word is a figment of a creative or wishful marketing person’s imagination.

That said, I’ve always been blessed with a wonderful number of supportive, dear, beautiful women friends–men friends too. I enjoyed mentoring both men and women and representing men and women in business.

Have you noticed when women end up on the cutting room floor in retail or restaurant situations that another woman is wielding the scissors or is my experience/observation a one-off? When organizations of women refer to “sisterhood,” or sisterly relationships among their constituents, is there something to it or is it fiction?

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